Tell me how I should take this issue!?

Ok,I've been with my fiance now for nine years and two of the nine we've been engaged. Every year I've spent major holidays in Texas with she and her family. Last year I was going home 1000 miles east to be with my family for Christmas and she was gonna go as well but her Grandmother was very ill so I decided to stay here so we would be here in case something drastic happened to her . Please Note that her grandmother and I are very close. Of the nine years of being with this young lady she has only gone home with me once. Everytime I ask her to let me know her schedule so that I could book her flight she drug her feet. When I asked her for a direct answer pertaining to her going with me she said that she was not going because she thought that we would be back by thanksgiving day. That kinda defeats the purpose (right) ? theQUESTION is do you think this woman cares about me or our relationship? is this selfishness? and what should I do because Im very hurt? Oh and by the way she does not ever call my parents even to say hello but she wants me to go by every day a sit with her grand mother at the nursing home and offered to pay me 40 dollars a week for gas. oh and she along with her mom and brother are living in my apartment until their house is finished hmmmm Please give me some answers.